Assbomb

Where's that wire leading, sir?

The incident began about 4:30 a.m. when a California Highway Patrol officer contacted Steven Ferrini, 60, in a “No Parking” zone on Highway 89 near Luther Pass, according to a CHP report.

The officer arrested the man after allegedly finding what was believed to be methamphetamine.

During a subsequent search, officers found “a suspicious wire, with an on/off switch” in the man's front left pocket leading to his anal cavity, ac cording to the report.

Officers planned to have the device removed by medical personnel at Bar ton Memorial Hospital, but during an interview with the man at the CHP office, “the subject began to explain his knowledge of explosives and bomb-making,” according to the report.

About 9 a.m., “the EOD team rendered the device safe and determined it was not an explosive device. The vibrator was subsequently removed and placed into property”

Given the option of fishing something out of crackhead's ass, I think I would've wrapped him in detcord and exploded him in place. Can't be too careful, ya know.