Bacterial Belligerence

New evidence shows that bacteria are constantly plotting to overthrow us:

Bacteria are the oldest living things on earth, and researchers have long felt that they must lead dull, unfussy lives. New discoveries are starting to show just how wrong that notion is.

For a simple, single-cell creature, a bacterium is surprisingly social. It can communicate in two languages. It can tell self from nonself, friend from foe. It thrives in the company of others. It spies on neighbors, spreads misinformation and even commits fratricide.

Bacterial society is based on a chemical language called quorum sensing. To detect how many of its own species, or members of another bacterial species, are in the immediate vicinity, each bacterium secretes a certain molecule into the environment. The greater the number of molecules it can sense, the more fellow bacteria it knows are out there.

This is often a trigger to act. Some bacteria will attack a person or any other host only after establishing that there is a quorum -- a large-enough army to overcome the host's immune defenses. The strategy helps explain the virulence of a number of human ailments, including cholera, pneumonia and food poisoning.

Buncha evil little micro-commies! I knew it!