Fire in the Hole!
Squirrel bombing:
I want one. More to the point, I currently need one. Moles.
Really?! Is that what it is? How terribly clever of you to discover that, Mr Reporter. You're so smart.
WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE and maybe HOW. That sound familiar, Nick? Or did you sleep through that portion of Journalism 101 in middle school? Don't interpret. Don't commentate. Don't try to be funny. REPORT. That's your job. I don't care what you think about it or which casual associations you can create from the situation. I want you -- and by extension, every journalist on the planet -- to do one thing: REPORT. No more, no less.
The meddling, opinionating and manipulation exercised by televised and print media in the United States last year has resulted in the White House being occupied by the most unqualified person in the entire history of the Republic. You're obviously really, really bad at it. Stop it.
REPORT. That is all.
--
UPDATE: Here's an example of what I'm talking about, Nick. It's from an article written by the Australian Associated Press:
Obviously, there's a very easy association with a certain movie that could be made here. As obvious and simplistic as yours was, in fact. The difference is that the staff of the AAP did not make that reference. Not once. Didn't even hint at it. See how that works, Nick? That's called "reporting." It's really not hard; try it out.
The Finch Arboretum is being overrun by ground squirrels, and Spokane Parks and Recreation is bringing in some special artillery.
The agency is using a special machine called the Rodenator Pro to detonate some of the estimated 100 to 150 squirrels tearing up the grounds.
The Rodenator Pro pumps propane and oxygen into the tunnels of squirrels, then sends an electric spark that causes an explosion. The shock waves kill the squirrels and collapse their tunnels - but in a humane way, the agency said.
I want one. More to the point, I currently need one. Moles.
Shades of Carl Spackler, the gopher-hating groundskeeper from "Caddyshack."
Really?! Is that what it is? How terribly clever of you to discover that, Mr Reporter. You're so smart.
WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE and maybe HOW. That sound familiar, Nick? Or did you sleep through that portion of Journalism 101 in middle school? Don't interpret. Don't commentate. Don't try to be funny. REPORT. That's your job. I don't care what you think about it or which casual associations you can create from the situation. I want you -- and by extension, every journalist on the planet -- to do one thing: REPORT. No more, no less.
The meddling, opinionating and manipulation exercised by televised and print media in the United States last year has resulted in the White House being occupied by the most unqualified person in the entire history of the Republic. You're obviously really, really bad at it. Stop it.
REPORT. That is all.
--
UPDATE: Here's an example of what I'm talking about, Nick. It's from an article written by the Australian Associated Press:
Four baby snakes grounded a Qantas plane in Melbourne after they made a doomed bid for freedom during a flight from Alice Springs.
Obviously, there's a very easy association with a certain movie that could be made here. As obvious and simplistic as yours was, in fact. The difference is that the staff of the AAP did not make that reference. Not once. Didn't even hint at it. See how that works, Nick? That's called "reporting." It's really not hard; try it out.
posted by Jar(egg)head at 12:17
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