Good morning! You are a fat, disgusting pig!

Shamus Young holds forth on the pure evil that is the Wii Fit:

Of all the videogame villains I've encountered over the years, the Wii Fit board is perhaps the most cunning and evil. No other antagonist has come so close to killing me in real life. The adorable little board acts as a scale, a coach, and a "friend" as you strive to lose weight. These are three roles that should never, ever be combined. It chirps out helpful advice, lets you know how long it's been since your last workout, and tells you how fat you are. It does this cheerfully, which makes me think the little bastard delights in my suffering.

Since starting Wii Fit, my weight is down 4 lbs and my self-esteem is down about three hundred.

Mrs. Jar(egg)head has allowed as how she'd like to have one of these infernal devices. Fine. But the first time it tells me I'm fat, we'll be playing Wii Frisbee. In the street.