Apathy Curve: DIY

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Thursday, August 09, 2007

DIY

Slice and dice:

Building boss Howard Shelley carried out the ultimate DIY conversion by castrating himself.

He found a website which gave a step-by-step guide to the eye-watering home surgery, then waited till wife Janet went out before setting to work with a kitchen knife in the loo. With the job done, he wrapped his severed appendages in a cloth and dropped them in the bin.

Howard, who wants to be known as Holli, said: "It was very painful, but the moment I cut them off I felt all woman.

"The worst bit was steeling myself for the first cut. The whole thing took six minutes. It was agony, but I knew I couldn't stop."

[We are currently experiencing technical difficulties. Please return when Jar(egg)head has regained consciousness.]

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