We're All Gonna Die! (And your little bird, too...)

Not worried enough?

Bird flu poses as big a threat to the world as ever, and people need to worry about it more, U.S. senators and health leaders agreed on Wednesday.

Stop living so calmly and PANIC, DAMN YOU! I said P A N I C ! ! !

Federal health officials said they were working to raise preparedness, although progress has been slowed by budget limitations...

Ah. Now we're seeing their real motivation: there are grants to be paid, tenures to be supported, and mass hysteria to be induced. So cough up that tax money and start panicking -- you bunch of selfish, low-stress tightwads.