Ban It!

The UK continues its attempt to round all the sharp corners off of life:

A day after Sidmouth man Bradley Moran admitted killing 33-year-old Matthew Stiling by stabbing him through the heart with the 18-inch blade of a samurai sword, an Echo reporter discovered how easy it is to buy one unchecked from an Exeter shop.

Echo editor Marc Astley said: "It is incredible that our reporter was able to buy such a terrifying weapon, no questions asked. I was shocked at just how sharp and heavy the blade is.

There is no excuse for this sort of thing to be sold to anyone but licensed organisations and we will be pursuing our campaign with vigour."

"Oooooh! It's so sssharp and heavy! Ooooh. Save me, mommy!"

In the provincial little child-mind of Mr. Astley, banning swords will make him all safe and cozy, and all the Bad Men will go away. Because you can't fashion a weapon out of a stick.

Are you going to ban trees? How about pencils and scissors and screwdrivers and pokers and dogs and pool cues... Where does it stop, Mr. Sharp and Heavy? When do you stop whining to the government for protection and decide to take responsibility for your own safety, you maggot-soft excuse for a human being?

It's hard to believe this is the same nation which held sway over the known world a little over a century ago. The stiff upper lip and "Once more unto the breach!" hallmarks of the mighty British Empire have been replaced by sniveling, runny noses and self-preserving cowardice.

How sad.