Dial It In

Formula One driver David Coulthard, speaking to the press just before the Canadian Grand Prix, used an unusual metaphor to describe how he manipulates the new and rather sensitive model of rev-limiter on his race car. He was discussing the upcoming race with a British ITV reporter, who had just asked him if he'd been practicing with the device. His reply:

"Yeah, I have. I've just been imagining it's your nipples. I'm being a bit more gentle with it when I take my finger off it at the end of the pit lane."

Luckily for Mr. Coulthard, he didn't say it on an American television station. The lynch mobs would have been forming before he finished the sentence:

"Ohmygod! He said nipple on television! And he was talking to a woman! About her nipples! In public! On television! Children may have heard him! Trauma! Quick, change the channel to something more suitable for children... Yes, that there; the guy lopping off heads with a sword. That's much better.

"Whew! And to think junior almost heard that word. Why, he may have been scarred for life! I'm gonna call the FCC and complain, and I mean right now! Turn the television down, please; I can't hear the phone over that disembowled guy's screaming..."