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Tuesday, December 17, 2019

Hyperventilating for Gaia

Panic attack:

My name is XXX I’m 20 years old from the UK. I have been well the only word to describe it is suffering as I genuinely have the fear that climate change is going to kill me and all my family, I’m not even kidding it’s all I have thought about for the last 9 months every second of the day. It’s making my sick to my stomach, I’m not eating or sleeping and I’m getting panic attacks daily. It’s currently 1am and I can’t sleep as I’m petrified.


Might I suggest bourbon?

I’m not stupid, I’m a pretty rational thinker...


Oh, I think the jury's still out on that, sweetie.

...but at this point sometimes I literally wish I wasn’t born


Oh, look! There's the jury. My, they don't look happy, do they?

I’m already vegetarian...


Do tell? I'd never have guessed.

...and I recycle everything...


Everything? I can think of at least one more thing which desperately needs recycling.

I’m at my wits end here.


Can't reach the end of what never started.

Please help me. In anyway you can.


Well... since you asked so nicely, sure. I refer you to my recycling comment above. People who really, really love Gaia will happily sacrifice themselves for her long term health. Why, I daresay you'd make a perfectly lovely compost. Don't forget to remove all plastics and non-fiber clothing before you step into the soylent vat, sweetie.

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