Winter Wonderland

The states ranked by how miserable their winters are. The Texas entry is accurate:

According to a quick eyeballing of the globe I keep in my office, Texas is roughly the size of South America or something, and you can’t speak on the weather in Ecuador like it’s the same as Chile, right? West Texas is mostly arid desert where you can get the occasional blizzard that shuts down Amarillo, forcing their lauded indoor football team the Venom, to postpone games. East Texas is subtropical and humid even in the winter, and they get that cool advection fog in Galveston where you can’t see shit for days, and all of the ships carrying giant Texas belt buckles to Mexico are forced to stay put.

Also, when I briefly lived in Dallas during my youth, it once snowed 4in and I didn’t have school for THREE DAYS and people were talking about killing their horses and sleeping inside of them Tauntaun style. With all that said, outside of the Northern Plains, the average temps in Texas in the winter usually stay in the mid-60s during the day, and that’s pretty damn nice.

It's 83 and sunny here in Houston today. Suck it, yankees.