Brownieless in Syrupland

The Vermont school system goes off the deep end:

[The] iconic chocolate brownie, that perfect blend of cake and cookie, is banned in Vermont schools. In its place are new kid favorites like fruit shish kebab, kale and even gluten-free paleo lemon bars.

Oh boy! Kale! You know what Dave Barry said about kale, right?

"It is an unappetizing form of plant life that until recently was used primarily for insulation. Even goats will not eat it. Goats, when presented with kale, are like, 'No, thanks, we’ll just chew on used seat cushions.'"

I've no idea what a "paleo lemon bar" might be (let alone one that is gluten-free), but it doesn't sound any more appetizing than seat cushi -- sorry, kale.

Now read this tidbit:

Moms who send brownies or cupcakes to celebrate a child’s birthday in the new dessert-averse environment will be permitted to do so.

"Will be permitted..." Got that? You'll be PERMITTED (but only one day per year) to send what you wish in YOUR child's lunchbox. To the school which YOUR bond money bought, filled by the teachers whose salaries are paid from YOUR tax money. How utterly fucking magnanimous of them!

When have we had it, people? When do we stop letting bureaucrats and busy-bodies and politicians bully us? When do we say "By God, that is ENOUGH!" and put down our metaphorical feet? Because I don't know about you, but I am growing very tired of being told what I can and cannot do by people who aren't smart enough to hold down a real job.

If you're a parent in Vermont, here's my advice to you: send your kid to school with brownies. Lots of 'em. Punch the bureaucrats in their noses. In short, pick a fight. Because if you don't the bullies will win, and soon they'll be telling your kid to report you to the CDC for baking a cake with too much sugar in it.