Cyclist Trap

I'd pay good money if they'd let me paint that bollard concrete grey and stand behind the corner. I can imagine nothing more satisfying than watching a series of pretentious Speedo-clad yuppie douchebags scrub the pavement with their faces. Of course I'd help them get back up... "Wow, nasty wreck, man! I think some dickhead painted that bollard grey! Say, how'd that stupid-looking helmet work out for you? I ask 'cause your face is like really fucked up bad. Good job on the hair, though."