Bug-A-Salt

Genius! A pneumatic shotgun which uses table salt as ammo. It was created for the laudable purpose of killing that great nemesis of man, the common housefly. I suspect, however, that it can be re-purposed for torturing people you don't like -- which in my case is a very long list indeed.

How can any red-blooded American male not want one of these? Since the wife STILL won't let me have a flamethrower (*grumble*mumble*), perhaps she'll see her way clear to the Holy Salt Shotgun of Insect Annihilation. I shall name it Clementine.