Attempted Blubbery
For crying out loud...
Big ol' meanie! Makin' the poor burglar cry.
This is OBAMERICA! Can you believe someone would be so insensitive to the needs of a clearly depressed and desperate young man?! That shop owner was thinking only of himself and his HUGE PILES OF MONEY, like capitalists always do. You will be punished, shop owner, and so will all others like you. There's no room for your type in our New Paradise.
___
Sorry. I'm trying to get a Cabinet position, and unfortunately I've already paid taxes this year, so I'm angling for whiny emotionalism. Lefties love that crap. How am I doing? Not convinced? Do u think bad grammer and som blatent mispellings wood impruv my credabilty? i could stop using captals and punctauton to.. OBAMA rULEZ, d00d!1 Repuglcans r sooo st00ped!
Hey, it's that or work for the rest of my life supporting the losers. If you can't beat 'em...
[A] man was accused of trying to rob Sykes Liquor Store in Trenton Monday night. Police said the owner, who was behind the counter, triggered the lock after the man grabbed a bottle of Hennessy cognac and bolted for the door.
The man then allegedly pulled out a handgun and demanded to be released. But the owner said he saw that the gun was a fake, refused to unlock the door and called police.
Police said the suspect threw away the gun, slumped to the floor and was crying when officers arrived to arrest him.
Big ol' meanie! Makin' the poor burglar cry.
This is OBAMERICA! Can you believe someone would be so insensitive to the needs of a clearly depressed and desperate young man?! That shop owner was thinking only of himself and his HUGE PILES OF MONEY, like capitalists always do. You will be punished, shop owner, and so will all others like you. There's no room for your type in our New Paradise.
___
Sorry. I'm trying to get a Cabinet position, and unfortunately I've already paid taxes this year, so I'm angling for whiny emotionalism. Lefties love that crap. How am I doing? Not convinced? Do u think bad grammer and som blatent mispellings wood impruv my credabilty? i could stop using captals and punctauton to.. OBAMA rULEZ, d00d!1 Repuglcans r sooo st00ped!
Hey, it's that or work for the rest of my life supporting the losers. If you can't beat 'em...
posted by Jar(egg)head at 12:56
1 Comments:
Sorry to have to correct your quotation syntax, but I believe that should have read:
"[A] man [sic] was accused of trying to rob Sykes Liquor Store..."
Good luck on your Cabinet position appointment with the Gobamament! You may want to go through your resume and remove any references to the so-called "hard" sciences, such as engineering, physics or economics as they may incur a certain degree of suspicion and/or condescension from our enlightened autocracy. On second thought, you could probably leave in economics since the "experts" so often quoted by the media do not seem to understand its most basic concepts. If asked any questions on the subject, just begin your replies with "The US government must immediately and without hesitation..." and try to keep a straight face. Oh, avoid terms like "competition", "fair market" and "fiscal responsibility", but feel free to work in "progressive socialism" and "environmental protection" for bonus points. Remember that the most important things are to look and sound confident and to make sure your crackberry is conspicuously visible and you're a shoo-in!
BTW - Great post. I LMAO
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