Stealin' for a Livin'

No, this isn't about politicians, though it might be. It's another round of bank robber bunko!

First, evidence that watching too many movies rots your brain:

Three men who allegedly staged an inside-job San Jose bank robbery after watching the movie "Ocean's Eleven" will be in court today.

Deguzman is the branch manager and Mendez is an employee. Police said Vu played the role of the robber and was escorted into the back of the bank and given the money by the others. The suspects said they hatched the robbery plan after watching "Ocean's Eleven"...

Because everybody knows that detectives don't watch movies, right?



"OMG. I am so gonna be somebody's bitch..."

Next, entitlement mentality reaches new depths:

Police say a central Pennsylvania man tried to rob a bank — but tellers' empty cash drawers thwarted his attempt. [The] tellers were waiting for their cash drawers to be filled when a man entered a Susquehanna Bank branch Thursday morning and demanded money. The first teller fainted and the next two showed him their empty cash drawers.

[The] robber then threatened to file a complaint with bank management before leaving.

How's an honest thief supposed to make a living if you won't leave the money where he can easily get to it? Inconsiderate bastards.

The moral here, of course, is that crime doesn't pay... if you're a dipshit.

Alternate moral: Keep your drawers empty. Full drawers attract flies.