Snivel, Whine and Whimper
On the rare occasion that snow or icy weather hits here in south Texas, we'll usually see road closures, schools shut down, and even many businesses taking a severe weather day. Yankees get no end of amusement out of this, snickering and pointing at the stupid bumpkins who can't deal with a little snow and ice. Well, now the snowshoe is firmly lodged in their collective mouth.
A "record-breaking heat wave" swept through the northeast yesterday, and judging by the plethora of news articles about it, you'd think the Four Horsemen had swooped down to heap doom and despair upon the area:
Oh, it SOARED into the 90s! Welcome to 7 a.m. in Houston -- every single day from June through September. And 96? That's the average here. Have some 90% humidity to go along with it, and enjoy trying to make it into work with the starch still in your shirt.
So stamp your tiny feet and shake your little girl-fists at me for insensitivity to your heat wave "plight," but next time you decide to make fun of southerners for closing down due to snow and ice, just remember what it felt like having your empty noodles simmer during a single south Texas day -- and multiply it by 120.
A "record-breaking heat wave" swept through the northeast yesterday, and judging by the plethora of news articles about it, you'd think the Four Horsemen had swooped down to heap doom and despair upon the area:
Temperatures across Pennsylvania soared to the mid and upper 90s Monday, threatening records in the eastern part of the state and forcing several school districts to dismiss students early.
Forecasters said Monday was the hottest day of the current heat wave, with temperatures reaching 96 in Philadelphia, 90 in Pittsburgh, and a record-tying 85 in Bradford county.
Oh, it SOARED into the 90s! Welcome to 7 a.m. in Houston -- every single day from June through September. And 96? That's the average here. Have some 90% humidity to go along with it, and enjoy trying to make it into work with the starch still in your shirt.
So stamp your tiny feet and shake your little girl-fists at me for insensitivity to your heat wave "plight," but next time you decide to make fun of southerners for closing down due to snow and ice, just remember what it felt like having your empty noodles simmer during a single south Texas day -- and multiply it by 120.
posted by Jar(egg)head at 08:46
1 Comments:
I believe you are incorrect about the 4 horsemen. I believe this would only be the work of the one on the pale horse. I own the red horse and he's been in the middle east for years. What a pain in the ass he is, most horses get barn fever and try to go back to the barn the first time you turn back in that direction, but not this one, he just keeps running around the middle east for some confounded reason. It's not the black horse, but with the food shortages being discussed, he's about out of the barn. And it's not the white horse since he has a split personality and can't decide what to do, so he just stays in the barn looking good and doing nothing.
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