Ferocious, Man-eating...
...Badgers!
Badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers...
Good Lord! It's the dreaded deerdogmonkey badger! Quick! Somebody find its mortal enemy... A snake! A snake!
British forces have been accused of releasing a plague of ferocious, man-eating badgers in the Iraqi city of Basra.
Badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers...
UK military spokesman Major Mike Shearer said: "We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area."
Major Shearer
"My husband hurried to shoot it but it was as swift as a deer," she said. "It is the size of a dog but his head is like a monkey."
Good Lord! It's the dreaded deerdogmonkey badger! Quick! Somebody find its mortal enemy... A snake! A snake!
posted by Jar(egg)head at 07:50
3 Comments:
They best watch it. Next time it'll be lamas or possibly moose. Moose have been known to bite people you know. Of course, being drowned in lama spit is a bit of nasty way to go now isn't it. But seriously, I think they should all be lined up behind the moose so it can kick them in the groin until they settle down a bit. All this silly gum flapping about Allah this and Jihad that. I mean what deity would ever tell people to slaughter all those who don't follow said deity's commandments. Accept when the deity's people need land that is. Then it must be ok because that's what was commanded of the Israelites. Of course the land they got wasn't exactly what one would call prime real estate. I mean if your going to call it a promise land there are plenty of uninhabited areas that are much nicer then where they ended up.
It's not as if anyone really gives a rats back side what they believe. So how does killing others help their cause? People can have religious changes of heart at any point in their life so killing someone now might well prevent them from joining the selected faith later in life. It just seems very stupid. Now if they are claiming that Allah is stupid, that's between them and Allah. I mean, a supreme being without brain one could definitely be a problem. I think a certain level of intelligence would be kind of necessary for the position of deity however. Due to this I think it is simply the extremists who can't figure out the flaw. But if they do think said deity is stupid. I wouldn't want a supreme being to call me out into the street for a fight, that's for sure.
As far as the current dire peril from the badgers goes, perhaps if they built a large wooden badger they could trick them into going inside where they would be trapped. Then they could catapult the wooden badger out into the ocean where they would snuff it. Of course then the animal activists would descend on their town like a plague. With big nasty pointy heads. The bad publicity man!!! Look at the bad publicity!!! Oh the horror.
And to actually quote Monty Python directly, "Now go away you washers of other people's bottoms. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!!! Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time."
Oh great! A new original sin. I poked a deerdogmonkey badger with a spoon. :)
I believe the spoon-poking is acceptable, so long as one does not commit the act in the presence of the President of Burundi.
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