Stupid's Too Good For Him...

One toke over the line:

A 24-year-old man called police to tell them he was trying to break into a church, but he wasn't having much luck.

Police said the found the man waiting at St. Paul's Lutheran Church. The man told them he had hoped to get married in the church and was trying to use a metal shovel to break through the doors. He told them he figured they could help.

Officers search the man and found marijuana. He then invited them to his home, where he told them they would find more drugs.

They did: He showed them his stash of marijuana and stolen prescription drugs.

I'm sorry sir, but we can't allow you into StupidPrison™... We have a standard to maintain, you know. Try the lobotomized autistic retard leper colony in the Antarctic; I hear they have openings.