Apathy Curve

Star Wars in Tunisia

2012-02-17T13:50:00.002-06:00

A tour of various locations in Tunisia used in filming Star Wars Episodes I & IV. Below is the Hotel Sidi Driss in Matmata. It was used as the Lars homestead in Episode IV.

Lat/long coordinates are provided for each site; just copy and paste into Google Maps, then drag StreetGuy onto the blue photo dots for additional views.

Piclick for more.

How do you say "idiot" in Polish?

2012-02-17T12:15:00.002-06:00

Just a-swingin'

2012-02-16T12:26:00.002-06:00

Are our faces red or what?

A German judge has dismissed a lawsuit by a couple of swingers after their 15-year-old daughter discovered a video of them in a sex club with their faces undisguised on the website of TV channel RTL.

The swinging parents wanted compensation for the alleged pain and suffering their family faced after the embarrassing revelations.

But the presiding judge said that in order to proceed with the lawsuit, the girl would have had to appear in court to testify and describe her shock – something he said she should be spared.

I think that was the same logic behind the Schlieffen Plan, wasn't it?

Read Quickly

2012-02-16T12:11:00.001-06:00

Piclick for more info.

Educashun

2012-02-16T12:04:00.000-06:00

Inspector Clueless

2012-02-15T13:25:00.005-06:00

Nyet, tovarisch! Zis is not state-approved meal!

A Hoke County preschooler was fed chicken nuggets for lunch because a state worker felt that her homemade lunch did not have enough nutritional value...

The West Hoke Elementary School student was in her More at Four classroom when a state agent who was inspecting lunch boxes decided that her packed lunch — which consisted of a turkey and cheese sandwich, a banana, apple juice and potato chips — “did not meet U.S. Department of Agriculture guidelines.”

Leaving aside for a moment the extremely worrisome event of the government telling a person what they will eat, since when is fried chicken nuggets a healthier meal than a turkey sandwich and a banana? I suppose we shouldn't be surprised, since the primary requirement for becoming a government inspector of any stripe is a complete and utter lack of marketable job skills.

We have an organization (and I use the word loosely) here in Texas called "DADS". The acronym stands for Department of Aging and Disability Services. Their nominal responsibility is to inspect old-folks homes. Not a bad idea, I grant you. But the government implemented the idea, and that made it bad.

The "inspectors" for this department are roughly comparable in intelligence, reasoning ability, and critical thinking skills to lobotomized chimps. Example: I've been designing, selling, installing, and consulting for fire protection systems for the better part of 20 years. All modesty aside (what little I possess in the first place), I'm damned good at what I do. Yet I have been subjected to the experience of listening to one of these screeching primates with a badge hoot at me for an hour concerning fire code and the proper application thereof. Bonus: the week before that, she was a hairdresser. Seriously. The requirement for these "inspectors" is a five-day course taught by a state bureaucrat. They don't even have to pay for the course.

Her badge + five days > 4 years education + twenty years experience.

The outcome of that encounter, by the way, was that we installed it incorrectly and in violation of code, on direct insistence of and instructions from the state "inspector." She signed the papers. Hope those old geezers can run faster than a fire.

How well do you suppose this formula is going to work for healthcare? "Oh, nonononoNOOOOO! You can't attach that artery THERE! I insist you stitch it to the patient's forehead. Well, what are you staring at me for? Do it NOW! LOOK AT THE BADGE, GODDAMMIT!"

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Hat-tip to Kirk M.

That Crazy Cat Lady

2012-02-15T08:23:00.003-06:00

Car nut:

A cat lover who repeatedly tried to run down two dog walkers has been jailed for five years.

Kerry Barlow from Llangwnadl, Pwllheli, believed her cat had been attacked by a dog owned by one of her victims. Mold Crown Court heard she "completely lost it" and drove her Ford Fiesta at Denise Roberts, 52, and daughter Donna, 29, four times in a country lane. When Mrs Roberts and her daughter walked past her home with their dogs, Barlow believed her cat had again been chased, so she followed them in her car up the road before driving at the pair, the court heard.

At one point, when Mrs Roberts lay dazed and injured in the road, her daughter pulled her out of the way as Barlow's car sped towards them. In another attack, Mrs Roberts tried to escape by climbing over a gate and in to a farmer's field but she was hurled in to the field when Barlow rammed her car in to the gate.

The court was told Barlow suffered a number of mental health problems.

No!

Darwin loves...

2012-02-15T08:15:00.004-06:00

...cobras:

The Delhi Police on Monday busted a gang of snake smugglers and recovered four cobras and about half-a-litre of venom after a tip-off from an NGO People For Animals (PFA).

According to police, the venom extracted from these snakes was to be used in high-end raves planned for Valentine's Day in and around the national capital. Venom and snake bites are preferred by drug addicts in raves these days. They suspected that the four cobras were being smuggled to bite junkies.

Police said this new found drug is popular in Delhi raves. Snake bite thus joins morphine, cocaine and the rest as a sort of exotic stimulant.

"Cobras are killed in large numbers and their venom is smuggled to Delhi and NCR to be used in rave parties for doping purpose," Gupta added.

Dead cobras. Dead junkies. And...? Forgive me, but I'm not seeing the problem here.

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"Have a byte," sayeth the serpent...

2012-02-14T13:38:00.002-06:00

Karma is such a bitch:

Apple's been harassing Samsung (and others) around the globe, using legislation and intellectual property nuances to suffocate competitive sales and yank Galaxy Tabs off store shelves. Now it's Apple's turn. After a Chinese court ruled that Apple has no right to use the "iPad" name in mainland China because a company called Proview Technology (Shenzhen) holds the trademark, Proview announced they were suing Apple for $1.6 billion in damages. Now, Proview wants a complete iPad import/export ban -- and since all iPads are manufactured in China, an export ban could choke off worldwide supply for the mega-popular tablet.

Hey, Stevie! Roll over, man... There's some Chink necrophiliacs comin' straight for your bunghole, baby!

Geek Alert

2012-02-12T22:00:00.005-06:00

I know some of my fellow Apathetics may recall some of the SF Cons we attended in our youth. For those of you still in the Houston area, there will be a local Comic / SF / Fantasy / Gaming / Pop Culture convention on May 25-27th at the George R Brown convention center called ComicPalooza. Don't let the name turn you off, the con it has grown into much more than just comic's since it's original creation.

This is a much larger con than those we went to back in the mid to late 80's, but you still have dealers rooms, artists alley's, panels, almost-'round-the-clock gaming, featured guests (actors, authors, artists, game creators) film rooms, costume contest, etc.

The madAngel and I have been going to support this new local con since it started out as a small affair at the deserted end of a local mall. It's been growing by leaps and bounds every year and last year managed ~6000 attendees. It's no DragonCon (which is a spectacular experience btw), it's no monster like ComicCon but it's a nice medium, fan owned and volunteer ran sized con.

New guests are being announced almost weekly now, but some of the guests that may be of interest to people here include:

Authors - Larry Niven, Timothy Zahn

Actors - Michael Biehn, Richard Hatch, Kevin Sorbo, Christopher Judge, George Takei, Peter Mayhew

*Steve Jackson (of CarWars fame) has been a frequent guest but haven't seen word on whether he will be there this year. Artist Larry Elmore is a frequent CP attendee as well. He sells alot of his work there (if you want to know how the long running humorous SnarfQuest (NO, NOT ELFQUEST!!) comic strip from Dragon magazine turned out, Larry sells a cheap softcover book of the whole strip in it).

For more on the Con visit their website here

So if you find yourself with some time to kill, feel free to join the myself and the madAngel at CP 2012. We generally decide to make a small "stay-cation" out of it, spending the duration of the Con at the attached Hilton Americas Hotel.

EverCrack - Trios

2012-02-12T15:37:00.002-06:00

Doing a bit more reading, Sony had posted the functional limitations of the Play for Free version.

http://www.everquest.com/free/

Some of them sound a bit annoying.... Haven't played in ages so not sure who much of an impact they would be.

You never know....

2012-02-11T12:59:00.003-06:00

Husband Day Care

2012-02-09T08:31:00.001-06:00

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Hat-tip to Dave M. (That be he on the left)

EverCrack, Part Deux

2012-02-08T10:51:00.006-06:00

I recently posted that EQ was going F2P in a few weeks, including some progression servers. Madbuilder asked the following question in the comments, and rather than answer there, I decided to make a new post, as I'd really like to hear input on my response from you fellow EverCrack whores. (If you're not a MMO player, you'll want to stop reading now.)

Madbuilder: "So will everyone on these new servers be starting out fresh (i.e. no Uber Characters and their years of accumulated loot and rankings)?"

My understanding is that progression servers start fresh -- no UberLeets. It's patched up to stable pre-Kunark standards, but nothing else... no in-game map, no raid zones, not even an auction house. Just good ol' basic EverCamp.

Perverse though it may sound, I really miss simple things like the player-created auction markets in EC tunnel and Faydark. It seemed to me that it added a sense of vitality and a lived-in feel to the game when you actually had to spend fifteen minutes getting to the "market zones" so you could watch the sale listings on chat and talk to and negotiate with real people to buy stuff. Contrast this with modern MMOs, where everything is streamlined and slick and channelized and very, very easy. It's like the designers go out of their way to insure you don't have to interact with other people in any way -- in a MASSIVELY MULTIPLAYER game(!) Hence the term "themepark" has become common for describing modern MMOs: shut up, get on the ride, scream in delight, move to your left, get on the next ride, scream in delight, move to your left...

Boring.

Yes, after about level 30 in original EQ the severe death penalties and hell levels could be very aggravating, but... hey, it's DEATH, after all. It's kind of a pain, you know. I remember a time early in my EQ career when I ventured solo into Sol-A (yeah, I know), died in a really awkward and hard-to-access place, and ended up losing all my stuff because I couldn't make the corpse run. Pain? Oh yeah. But I learned something: DO NOT go into Sol-A (much less -B) solo. Stupid = Dead. I carped and griped and gnashed my teeth... and then I took my medicine and moved on to reacquiring all my stuff. And I never, ever went solo into Sol-A again.

That's called experience. Not the "colored-bar-filling-up" type experience. Real experience. The kind you don't get in modern MMOs, because you're shrouded in bullet-proof bubble wrap from the first minute you log on. Died? No problem! Just click that button, then click that button, and VOILA! -- It never happened.

Boring.

It seems to me like every modern MMO (pretty much everything after Anarchy Online, in fact) is all reward and no risk. That's great fun if you're twelve, but I really feel that many of us -- especially those who grew up playing pen and paper D&D in the 70s and 80s -- want MMOs to go back to the way they were In The Beginning: an adventure, not a visit to the day spa.

What thinkest thou? Valid point, or am I just burnt out?

Cleaning the Trains

2012-02-07T11:42:00.003-06:00

Indonesia is going medieval on the freeloaders who ride atop their trains:

Indonesia has gone to imaginative extremes to try to stop commuters from riding the roofs of trains – hosing them down with red paint, appealing for help from religious leaders, and threatening them with dogs.

Now they have an intimidating and possibly even deadly new tactic: suspending rows of grapefruit-sized concrete balls above railway lines a few centimetres above the tops of carriages at points where trains enter or pull out of stations, or where they go through crossings.

Suh-WEEET! Morningstar flails at 100 kph! Man, I'll pay coin to watch some footage of that in action.

They're also adding brooms covered in icky goo. Not as much fun as the ol' concrete-ball-to-the-head-trick, though.

"For anyone who is still up there, it'll be like a whip," said Ahmad Sujadi, of the state-run railway, PT Kereta Api Indonesia. "Some people say its inhumane, but that's fine," he said...

I like this guy. Betcha he looks like Mr Burns. "Smithers, get those corpses off the top of my trains!"

Scum and Villany

2012-02-06T16:53:00.003-06:00

How do you define the very essence of "scumbag"? Ask this guy.

Mr John Goodman (not that one) legally adopted his 42-year old girlfriend as his daughter so he could use her to hide his money. He's trying to hide it from a family who are suing him for wrongful death of their child. The Cliff Notes version: Mr Scumbag was drunk, ran a stop sign, struck and killed the 23-year old. So to avoid paying up for his scumbaggery, he chooses to sleep with his "daughter."

Classy. Real classy.

Free Crack

2012-02-06T10:54:00.005-06:00

I know for a fact that quite a few of you Apathetics were EverQuest addicts; in fact, Mad Builder is the one who got me hooked on it, all those years ago -- thirteen years, to be precise. And for its thirteenth birthday, the grandaddy of MMOs is going F2P in March.

To sweeten the pot, there are progression servers running -- meaning they start with original, plain ol' vanilla EverCrack and release the expansions on the original time schedule. So if RIFT and SWToR are failing to hold your interest (rapid-leveling "themeparks" both), you might try a little of the old school. At the price, it's worth a shot. Think I might even resurrect Wibli the Drunk Dorf -- er, I mean Warrior.

WTF - Part 2

2012-02-04T10:02:00.005-06:00

Two Oompa Loompas, two bunny suits, a (apparently) transvestite pole dancer, and an ambulance....

I KNOW there has to be quite a story here, but I'm afraid to even contemplate it.

Streakin' for the LAWORD!

2012-02-03T15:48:00.001-06:00

Q: How many naked Pentecostals can fit into a Grand Am?

A: Twenty.

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Hat-tip to Mad Builder

Friday timewaster

2012-02-03T13:01:00.001-06:00

What better way to go into the weekend than flying Sheep? Clik for wooly fun.

Chiseling the Glacier

2012-02-03T12:52:00.003-06:00

Cold stupid:

Police in the south of Chile have arrested a man on suspicion of stealing ice from the Jorge Montt Glacier.

Officials in the town of Cochrane found five tonnes of ice in the back of his truck. Police suspect the ice was destined for the capital, Santiago, to make gourmet ice cubes for use in upmarket bars and restaurants... Tourists in southern Chile are often served whisky chilled with glacial ice - which has an extra kudos because it comes directly from the glaciers.

Scientists say the glacier, in the Patagonia region, is retreating faster than any other in Chile.

The driver is accused of theft, but prosecutors are also considering bringing charges under the national monuments act.

The ice found in the back of the vehicle was worth about 3 million pesos ($6,100).

That's about 55 cents per pound. I'm not sure who is dumber: people who pay a premium for glacier ice, or people who declare a melting glacier a national monument.

A more important question, however, is how do I convince people that the ice from my fridge is actually glacier ice, and that it's worth three bucks a pound? (Transportation costs, you understand...)

Top Totty

2012-02-03T12:41:00.004-06:00

A British Labor MP -- er, excuse me: Labour MP -- has thrown a hissy-fit about a beer label:

A beer named Top Totty and advertised with a picture of a scantily-clad woman has been withdrawn from a Westminster bar after a Labour MP complained.

Shadow equalities minister Kate Green said she was "disturbed" to hear it was on sale in The Strangers' Bar, which is where politicians can bring guests.

The "scantily-clad woman" is a cartoon in a bikini. I've seen lewder illustrations in the Christian Bible. Of course, a quick GIS of MP Kate Green makes it clear you would not want to see her in a bikini. In fact, a paper bag to the head would increase her attractiveness considerably.

A local brewery here in the Houston area makes a really good light ale named Bombshell Blonde. There's even a "scantily-clad woman" on the packaging. Think I'll mail MP Killjoy a six-pack.

Path? What path?

2012-02-01T15:08:00.002-06:00

We are the intarwebz. No matter how esoteric, we has it. Illustrationizing: A blog devoted entirely to Giant Pants of the '30s. Score!

That's a Biggun!

2012-02-01T14:58:00.002-06:00

Tough chick:

A woman in the United States has given birth to a boy weighing 13lb 13oz - without the aid of surgery.

Impressive. That'd be kinda like squirting a chihuahua out of your anus.

Lick-A-Fix

2012-02-01T14:50:00.003-06:00

Point and laugh as the meth-head laps up her score from the sidewalk.

John Arthur, director of Edinburgh drugs group Crew 2000, said: “Addicts can go to extraordinary lengths to get their substances due to the cravings they can experience.

“This is surely deserving of compassion rather than ridicule.”

It is clear, sir, that you have underestimated my nearly boundless capacity for ridicule.

"Asparamancer"

2012-02-01T14:41:00.004-06:00

Some crazy Brit chick claims she can use asparagus as divination tools - like chicken bones, only twice as disgusting. (Seriously, does anyone voluntarily eat asparagus? I'm pretty sure I could pull a weed from my back yard and get the same taste.)

"It might sound silly to some people..."

No, you've gone way beyond silly. You've moved firmly into Retarded territory.

On the plus side, I know what I'll name my next MMO character.

Purloined Pole

2012-02-01T14:31:00.002-06:00

Stealing copper wire from street lights is a pretty common occurrence these days, but thieves in Ireland have upped the ante: they stole the entire light pole.

Amazing how hard some people will work in order to avoid working.

Nintendo: The New Fountain of Youth

2012-02-01T14:13:00.003-06:00

Got it covered:

Kathleen Connell, known as Kit, turned 100 last week but attributes her sharp mind to regular sessions on her hand-held games console.

"It's absolutely super, I can't speak highly enough of it. I don't know what I would do without it," the grandmother of one said. "I'll play it in the evening, then I'll have a break and a cup of tea, then I'll go back to playing my Nintendo."

The Nintendo DS fan owns around a dozen games including Scrabble, Art Academy and Family Fortunes. She proudly admitted that Brain Trainer had scored her a mental age of 64-years-old - 36 years younger than her real age.

So wine is good for you and video games help you live longer? Hell, somebody just needs to come up with a study showing that cigarettes are good for your health and I'll be virtually immortal.

Hms California

2012-02-01T08:30:00.002-06:00

"Captain Smith, I need to speak to you about the water in my room."
"Sir the ship is sinking, you need to get to a life boat"
"That is beside the point! I need you to send a steward to my room to mop up the water!"

Los Angeles may be the land of the freeway, but it is notorious for its bad sidewalks — buckled, cracked and sometimes impassable. By the city's own estimate, 42% of its 10,750 miles of pedestrian paths are in disrepair.

Now a series of civil-rights lawsuits against Los Angeles and other California cities is for the first time focusing attention — and money — on a problem that decades of complaining, heated public hearings and letter-writing campaigns could not.

Civil Right? Having a sidewalk is now a right? Who knew.

The plaintiffs contend that the conditions violate the federal Americans With Disabilities Act, a tool that has been used across the country to force better access at restaurants, department stores, movie theaters and the like.

Ah that pesky little devil.

In Los Angeles, the city has settled two cases for about $85 million. That money will be used over the next two decades to build thousands of sidewalk access ramps at curbs.

But there are four other cases pending that could leave the city on the hook for hundreds of millions of dollars.

Fixing all of Los Angeles' sidewalks would be a daunting task: Officials estimate the cost of improving them all would top $1.5 billion. But advocates for the disabled hope they can make a measurable dent in the problem.

1.5 billion?!? Well, I'm sure that L.A. has the money right?

There is little dispute that the sidewalks are an embarrassment. But some officials question what the city can do when it already faces a $72-million budget shortfall.

That is 74 large for this year. In other words they are short 74 million to just run the bloated, corrupt, and heavy handed government they currently have, now they have to come up with another 10 million a year for the next 10 years? Not gonna happen. But you know what, screw everyone else, I need smooth ground so I can go get my grand slam breakfast. That chunk of land can't fall into the ocean fast enough.

Nothin' But Net

2012-01-31T17:39:00.002-06:00

Keep the change?

Authorities say a Massachusetts woman bought $64 worth of soda using a stolen welfare benefits card, then immediately fed the full cans into the supermarket's automated redemption machine for the nickel deposit.

The welfare state is eating its own head. How lovely.

She was ordered held on $250 bail.

Actually, she was held in lieu of $250 bail. If she were held on it, she would be balanced on one foot.

Nevertheless, I'm pretty certain she won't make bail, unless the bondsmen these days are accepting food stamps... And hey, why not? Liquor stores do.

Droning On

2012-01-31T17:30:00.002-06:00

Realtors in Los Angeles have begun using drones to take aerial photos of properties for sale. LAPD says "Oh No You Don't! That's where our heliomocopters are flyin', darn it!"

There's a movie in there somewhere... La Popo vs The Rogue Drones! Intense aerial combat action! Donuts falling like rain! See it in eye-popping 3-D!

Hatin' on the Haiti

2012-01-31T16:44:00.003-06:00

You may remember the outpouring of money after the Haiti earthquake, when all the children (who have an excuse) and liberals (who don't) threw money at the island in a fit of wealth-induced guilt. Well, guess what: that made it worse, not better.

It was one of the most devastating natural disasters of recent years — and the world responded in sympathy. The international community claimed to have given £6.5 billion to heal Haiti’s wounds, while donations poured in to charities.

Earlier this month, on the quake’s second anniversary, aid agencies pumped out press releases proclaiming their successes. Add up all the people they claim to have helped and the number exceeds the population of Haiti.

The reality is rather different — and shines a stark light on the assumptions, arrogance and deficiencies of the ever-growing global relief industry. As promises were broken, mistakes were made and money was wasted, prices of food and basic supplies for local people soared, sanitation deteriorated, there was less safe water to drink and well-meaning interventions made matters infinitely worse.

Fernande Bien Amie, a mother of two, said they felt betrayed by aid groups reneging on promises and by their government’s failure to monitor them. ‘These NGOs just do whatever they want, then leave whenever they want,’ she said.

As so often with the aid industry, for all its undoubted achievements in difficult conditions, good intentions keep backfiring. Camps were given soap but no water, condoms but not food. Text messages told people to wash before eating when babies were being bathed in sewer water.

Payments for rubble clearance led people to stop clearing streets until given money.

Charity starts at home. Giving your money to third party "aid" organizations is just a sop to a guilty conscience. My grandfather taught me that twenty-five years ago, and it remains true today.

Give to your church. Give to your family. Give to your friends and co-workers, (though not too often). All other solicitors of charitable contribution should be told precisely where to stick their mock piety.

They do exist!

2012-01-31T07:19:00.002-06:00

As the dozens of followers of this blog know, I believe the whole "green" movement is nothing but an attempt for some people to tell others how to live, and for those in power to make their friends rich (ah la Solyndra). In Manila, however, a few entrepreneurs have found a market for a true Green job.

Shanty town homes in Manila are often built so close to each other that they have no windows or natural light. With electricity unaffordable or unavailable for many slum-inhabitants, many families often have to work, do chores, and eat in near darkness.
Now a simple innovation called the "Solar Bottle Bulb" is popping out of roofs and illuminating the lives of many.

Fixed into holes in a corrugated iron roof, the "bulb" is a recycled plastic bottle that contains bleached water. Bringing more light than a traditional window that can crack or leak during typhoon season, the bottle bulbs refract the sun's rays to create 55-watts worth of light.

The people installing these devices make about a dollar a "light" which has helped many of them create a business for themselves, allowing them to support their family just by installing these. No government "loan" or supplement, or tax break needed. Just someone coming up with an idea and selling it. Capitalism helping the poor and providing a service the Phillipene government could not, and something our government would regulate and not allow because it would not be up to "Code".

WTF??!

2012-01-29T09:54:00.002-06:00

I've suddenly woken up in an alternate universe where Spike Lee said something I agree with!

Article here

"Despite 100 years of slavery, our ancestors were smart enough to know that education would be the thing to lead us out of bondage,” he said. “At a time when to learn to read and write was against the law for African-Americans, our ancestors risked life and limb to learn.”
He spoke of his parents’ and grandparents’ generations greatest mantra: “Education is the key.”
Then, he asked the crowd how, with such a rich history, fewer than half of Black males graduate from high school in America.
Lee blamed the influence that crack cocaine has had in poor neighborhoods and the influence that media have had in glorifying drugs and gangsters, whom he said are primarily portrayed by Black actors.
“I am from the pre-crack generation. When I was growing up, we never, ever, never ridiculed someone because they were a good student,” he said.
“Your generation, they now equate intelligence with acting White and ignorance with acting Black, and they wear it like a badge of honor. They say, ‘I’m ghetto. I’m gangster.’ What they are is ignorant."

New in the tool department....

2012-01-27T21:50:00.001-06:00

No Monies For You!

2012-01-27T15:42:00.001-06:00

Dublin dole office bans those in pyjamas

Here in the States, that would be an improvement over the 300-lbs mamas in their spandex.

99 Bottles of Stupid

2012-01-27T14:42:00.003-06:00

Hit me:

Female bodyguards are proving to be big business in China. They may generally be smaller than their male counterparts, but are in increasing demand as a sign of growing prosperity in the country.

The recruits have to endure, amongst other trials, having bottles smashed over their heads to test endurance.

Endurance? Or gullibility?

There is an obstacle course at the Amphibious Warfare Training Center on Coronado Island in California. Both SeAL candidates and Marines attending Amphibious Assault School run the course. The course was designed by SeALs, not Marines. I just want that clear from the start; the reason will become obvious shortly.

One of the obstacles in this course consists of a telephone pole mounted horizontally on two posts about three feet off the ground. The placard next it reads "Gut-Buster." After negotiating the preceding obstacle, (spider-weave bars, if I remember correctly), you are standing at the top of a low dune, looking down a gentle slope at the horizontal telephone pole about thirty feet in front of you.

Me: "Uh... what am I supposed to do? Jump it? It's like... three feet off the ground. I could jump that in a body cast."

SI: "No. Put your hands behind your head and run at it."

Me: "Huh?"

SI: "Watch."

Then the lunatic in UDT shorts clasps his hands behind his head and runs full-tilt down the dune, screaming at the top of his lungs -- straight into the pole, whereupon he flips over it and is laid flat-out like a poleaxed ox. He stands up and says, "Now you."

SeALs are totally fucking nuts, even by Marine Corps standards. I'm sure they probably have a "hit me over the head with a bottle" test, as well. Their thick skulls help out there, I should imagine.

Street Talk Live

2012-01-26T16:13:00.007-06:00

I'm going to veer a bit away from the normal fare here at the Curve and put in a plug for a radio show, simply because I think most of our readers have the intelligence and interest to enjoy it. Street Talk Live is beyond doubt the best financial and political talk show I've found. It airs from 6pm to 8pm weekdays on 700 am if you live in the Houston area. If you're not in Swamp City, you can listen via the website.

There are a couple of things that, in my mind, make it unique among talk shows. First and foremost, it is very informative. If you truly want to understand how the market, business, and politics all interrelate, this is the place to go. Lance Roberts is an active investment adviser and all-round very sharp guy who truly understands of what he speaks; you can pretty much bank (literally) on his predictions. He is also very good about explaining complex financial and political concepts which often seem murky and confusing to laymen. I have learned more in the last year about how markets, the Fed, and backroom politics affect the economy than I did in all my previous decades.

Secondly, for such a seemingly dry subject, the show manages to be quite entertaining without ever descending into the vicious backstabbing commentary and childish name-calling you usually get from talk radio. Roberts and his co-commentators are always polite, and even when they're amused by some particularly backward and misinformed caller, they always respond in a calm fashion with facts they can back up. That last bit is something you rarely hear on talk radio, and it's very refreshing.

Anyhow, enough of my gushing. If you really want to understand what makes modern America tick (and pick up a few nice investment tips along the way), give it a listen. I think you'll not regret it.

Gobbie Probs

2012-01-26T08:36:00.005-06:00

It's a goblin's life:

The love for quick riches has backfired for a Bulawayo man who yesterday confessed to buying five “goblins” which he said were now sexually molesting his wife.

The man claimed he acquired the goblins to amass wealth, but all that had remained a pipedream as the traditional healer who sold him the creatures had died.

“I had five goblins, but two have remained and I cannot live in this house. I urinate blood every time, and it has sex with my wife every time.”

His wife confirmed the “abuse”.

“It walks like a goat, and when it has sex with me, I often feel tired and spit blood. One day my bag was mysteriously increasing in size and we called a Gokwe prophet to cleanse our homestead.

DON'T LET THEM GET NEAR WATER!

Oh wait, that's gremlins... Never mind; carry on with your goblinizing.

TongueMan

2012-01-25T13:22:00.003-06:00

Next time you get to feeling sorry for yourself, just remember this poor guy and suddenly your problems will seem insignificant.

Yeah...it's like that

2012-01-23T20:29:00.001-06:00

Le Retardéd

2012-01-23T14:51:00.004-06:00

Some silly Frog wants to build an amusement park called Napoleonland.

What a great idea! Come on, kids! Let's go enjoy a fun-filled day of bloody battle re-enactments at a place named after a megalomaniac who tried to conquer the world. Bring your weevily bread, stale cheese, and a canteen of stagnant water, cuz that'll be Le Lunch -- you know, so you'll get the full experience of being a miserable, underpaid bullet-stopper.

Cry Harder

2012-01-23T14:31:00.003-06:00

North Korea To Punish Mourners Who Were Insincere

If you're a North Korean ~~slave~~ citizen and you weren't wailing loudly enough or shedding enough tears during the funeral of Kim Jong-Il, it's off to the gulag with you.

It would seem that Kim Jong-Un is even nuttier than his late, unlamented fruitcake of a father. The little tub of lard is waddling around the country trying to convince everybody he's the reincarnation of his grandfather, Kim Il-Sung. Which is just... well, it's fucking creepy.

I'm no fan of "nation-building," (to put it mildly), but they're way past due for a revolution in that nuthouse. Perhaps we should be dropping guns and ammo into the country, along with a note that reads: "Shoot everyone in the government and we'll send food."

Darwin loves...

2012-01-23T12:17:00.003-06:00

...camping:

David Austin, 29, from Derby, was found dead in a hut by a railway worker a mile south of one of Scotland’s most remote stations.

Mr Austin is thought to have told family in November that he was heading to the Highlands to live out his dream of surviving in the wilderness.

Oh, dear. I believe we'll have to place a mark in the 'FAIL' column, sir.

As someone who has graduated from several survival schools (courtesy of Uncle Sam) and spent many a miserable day freezing/frying/soaking wet (sometimes all in the same day) in various uncivilized hellholes around the planet, I'd normally advise such a person to find a new dream. In this case, however... well, a bit late. Said a local resident, (one of only four people who live in the entire area):

"We heard he was well equipped and knew what he was doing."

Not as much as you'd think, no.

Stupidity cannot be cured with money, or through education, or by legislation. Stupidity is not a sin, the victim can't help being stupid. But stupidity is the only universal capital crime; the sentence is death, there is no appeal, and execution is carried out automatically and without pity. - Robert Heinlein

Syndicate Redux

2012-01-21T11:38:00.003-06:00

Well, there goes my weekend. Syndicate -- quite possibly the best PC game ever made -- is now available on GOG.

The 70's

2012-01-21T10:52:00.002-06:00

Natural Selection worked so much better back then....

Chutzpah

2012-01-19T09:44:00.004-06:00

Unbelievable:

David Belniak had alcohol, Xanax and evidence of cocaine in his system and never braked when he slammed into the back of a family's car stopped at a red light on Christmas Day 2007. Three people died. In August, Belniak pleaded guilty to three counts of DUI manslaughter and was sentenced to 12 years in prison. He never said a word in court, not even when the victims' children begged him for an apology.

But he is voicing his opinion now. He's saying he's not responsible for the crash. And he wants to be paid for his suffering.

Last month, Belniak's attorney filed a lawsuit against the now-deceased driver of the other car, alleging the crash was the victim's fault. The suit asks for the victims' relatives to pay Belniak, 38, for his "pain and suffering … mental anguish … loss of capacity for the enjoyment of life" and the medical bills he got as a result of a crash he pleaded guilty to causing.

A phrase comes to mind; I am unsure where I first heard or read it: "Such moral depravity has the world never seen." Well, we're seeing it now, in 21st century America.

Let me take you on a quick trip. We'll hop in Doc Brown's shiny creation and set the dial for January 01, 2100. We arrive in streets choked with trash and diseased beggars. The freeways are crumbling under the few privately-owned cars still driving on them. The shattered, empty shells of once bustling restaurants and shopping malls squat like gnawed skeletons on the grey, filthy landscape. Our once beautiful Republic, formerly held up as the shining beacon of human progress for all the world to imitate, now hangs in rags. The greedy glutton in the sharkskin suit, law degree prominent behind his thousand-dollar desk, has robbed her, raped her and dumped her nearly lifeless body in a ditch for the jackals to feed upon. Empire? No, we never even got that far. Like ancient Greece, we go out with a whimper, our greed and hedonism consuming our bodies and minds, while the self-appointed patricians roll in gold and watch the buildings crumble. America staggers into the 22nd century, her last gasp before joining the ghosts of history and resigning herself to the status of anthropological curiosity. No one weeps, because no one cares any more. Most just wish the old hag would shut up and die, sparing them yet another tale about the glorious days of her youth...

Most people are joking when they mutter Shakespeare's famous turn of phrase, "The first thing we do, let us kill all the lawyers." I am not.

Cutting off your nose...

2012-01-19T09:26:00.003-06:00

Stop! Stop the ride. I want off...

A receptionist that was fired because she continued to work during her lunch break was finally awarded her unemployment benefits.

The row started when Sharon Smiley, 48, punched out for lunch in January 2010 but then remained at her desk to finish up an extra assignment that she had been given. On that particular Thursday, Ms Smiley didn't want anything to eat, so she stayed at her desk and worked. Ms Smiley had worked at the real estate firm for 10 years at that point and was very familiar with the policy of taking a mandatory 30 minute break for lunch.

'I thought, "Well, I'm not hungry; I'll just do this work … so when I get back from lunch, I can do my original work that I'm supposed to be doing,"' she said.

A manager approached her and told her to take her break. When she remained at her desk, the manager got human resources involved, who argued that she was violating Illinois Labor Laws that require employers to give their workers a break.

Legally, the company had a right to be concerned about Ms Smiley's over-eager behavior: the law says that employers are liable if they knowingly allow their employees to work during lunch.

The company then fired her on the grounds that her refusal to go to lunch - the first time she'd ever done so - qualified as insubordination and considered her behavior misconduct.

On those grounds, they were able to deny payment of her unemployment benefits.

How does this happen, you ask? Who is at fault for creating such an incredibly contorted and ridiculous chain of events? Is it the employee? Obviously not. The employer? No, not them either. The state, perhaps, for making over-zealous laws? Nope.

I'll tell you who created this illogical -- nay, idiotic -- situation: lawyers. Specifically, trial lawyers. And do you know who is the single largest employer of trial lawyers in the United States? The Federal government. Elected or appointed, the majority of so-called "beltway insiders" are current or former lawyers.

And now you are beginning to understand the truly terrifying depth of our current peril...

Aww Futs!

2012-01-19T09:19:00.002-06:00

You can say it, but don't write it:

A SNACK called Nuckin Futs will go on sale after a lawyer's successful argument that the word "f..." is a normal part of Australian speech and so cannot be deemed offensive under trademark rules.

"the word 'f...'"

Fair?

Fund?

Fish?

What is this word which is a normal part of the language, and why can it not be printed?

If only "irony" began with an "f".

Cartman

2012-01-16T21:00:00.001-06:00

Atomic Hard Drive

2012-01-16T12:57:00.002-06:00

IBM scientists create the world’s smallest magnetic memory bit using only 12 atoms

It equates to about a 100-fold increase in storage capacity over current HDD systems -- which should be just about enough to install Windows 8.

Talkin' 'bout the V

2012-01-16T11:12:00.002-06:00

Orthodorks:

The controversial exclusion of women from various settings in Israel because of pressure from ultra-Orthodox Jewish leaders reached a new level this week with a major conference on gynecological advances that is permitting only males to address the audience.

Thank you, religious nutballs; I needed a good chuckle on this Monday morning.

The conference...will include such topics as “ovary implants,” “how to choose a suitable contraceptive pill” and “intimacy during rocket attacks,” in which there are many qualified female professionals, but none will be permitted to speak, at least not from the podium.

"Intimacy during rocket attacks"? Well... you gotta do what you gotta do, I suppose. But a lecture on the topic? Is there some hidden danger -- you know, besides the possibility of being blown up by rockets?

Maggie Thatcher on the Socialist Ideal

2012-01-15T21:58:00.000-06:00

Tricorder X Prize

2012-01-13T10:48:00.003-06:00

As noteworthy as the whole build-a-spaceship Ansari X-Prize competition was, it was ultimately anti-climatic, as they were just retracing previously explored paths -- albeit in fancier shoes. There's a new competition, however, which I find much more interesting: the Qualcomm Tricorder X Prize. There's $10 million in prize money for the first successful production-quality medical tricorder, a la Star Trek.

Dammit Jim! I'm a doctor, not a design engineer!

Rosie O'Donnell is a Hypocrite

2012-01-12T12:07:00.004-06:00

Yes, I know; that's not exactly a revelation of Biblical proportion. Now, however, we have proof: she's been caught red-handed killing endangered species for sport. There's a photo at the Sun-Sentinel website showing the waterhead and her four crotchfruits posing with a formerly alive hammerhead shark. I'll just let the submitter sum it up:

That is a Great Hammerhead. It’s been on the endangered species list since 1/2008. Rosie is wearing a shirt with the date 1-28-2009.

Normally this wouldn’t bother me, but this self-righteous bitch constantly tweets crap like: “I don’t care if you want to hunt, I don’t care if you think it’s your right. I say, sorry, you are not allowed to own a gun, and if you do own a gun I think you should go to prison.”

My family has fished South Florida for generations. As the gun-toting right-winged environment destroying hate mongers we are, we would have released this endangered shark.

On a related note, Rosie O'Donnell has spawned -- four times. Who the hell is in charge of the Hollywood Mandatory Sterilization Program these days, and why haven't they been sacked?

__
Hat-tip to Jeff W.

Almost Jetsons

2012-01-12T09:41:00.003-06:00

Hey, Rosie! Make me a sandwich:

How do you make generally charmless robots a little less intimidating? One word: breakfast. Take James and Rosie, two PR2 bots that are programmed to whip up meals with little more than a simple instruction.

Though the two robots were once only capable of making pancakes and sausages, they're now able to serve up sandwiches and stove-popped popcorn. Commands like "Make me a sandwich" will cause the bots to whir around the kitchen, toasting bread, laying out meat and cheese, and spreading any condiments before stacking your meal.

Finally! Domestic slave droids! I'll take a dozen, please. They should address me as "my Dark Lord of the Sith" and tremble visibly when I glance in their direction.

Oh, and if you can make one that'll go to work for me, you can have my car.

Pugnacious Produce

2012-01-12T09:33:00.003-06:00

Flesh-eating bananas attack Mozambique

As if killer tomatoes hadn't already given us enough to worry about...

Use the Force, Dave!

2012-01-12T09:00:00.002-06:00

Saber Ward:

[It] would seem the mighty Taser was no match for a humble plastic lightsaber after a man managed to fend off officers as they tried to arrest him inside a toy store.

Police in Portland, Oregon, were on the receiving end of 'The Force' when they tried to take down a suspect with the electroshock weapon - and he retaliated using the children's toy with surprising success.

Officers had been alerted to an incident inside a Toys R Us in Jantzen Beach after a man allegedly used a toy lightsaber to attack people. According to police, by the time officers arrived three people had been assaulted by a man brandishing the toy. Officers said they tried to calm the man down but he kept swinging the lightsaber and shouting incoherently.

So they then tried to use a Taser on him, but the man managed to break the wires free using the toy. Abandoning the Taser attempts, police then wrestled the man to the ground before taking him into custody.

Should have opted for the blaster pistol, Dave. Photo of the rogue padawan at the link.

Welcome!

2012-01-12T05:57:00.002-06:00

I learned today,that we may have new readers to our humble little blog.

A "privacy compliance review" issued by DHS last November says that since at least June 2010, its national operations center has been operating a "Social Networking/Media Capability" which involves regular monitoring of "publicly available online forums, blogs, public websites and message boards.",

I wish you a hearty welcome and please feel free to comment on anything you read here. If you want to know a little more about us, I'm sure the FBI has a nice file going on at least one or two of us.
P.S. Hey guys, we may have just broke into double digits on followers! Whoo Hooo!

Ghetto Trivia = Fight Night

2012-01-11T13:13:00.002-06:00

Man stabbed for not knowing Beyonce is married to Jay-Z

He just took a stab at the answer.

The Ol' HOV-ho!

2012-01-11T13:04:00.003-06:00

Some guy in Washington was ticketed for having Lindsay Lohan as a passenger in the carpool lane. Seems rather unfair, doesn't it?

Vive le Crap!

2012-01-11T10:34:00.003-06:00

I know that several of you Apathetics play World of Tanks regularly. As you are no doubt aware, the French line of tanks was recently released to the live server, and they are at least as underwhelming as we might have anticipated. Some, in fact, are just plain pathetic.

If you've been as frustrated as I have with the underpowered, under-gunned, and under-armored Gallic ~~targets~~ tanks, you'll enjoy this humorous forum post by fellow WoT player SwedishChef. It accurately depicts the experience of driving a low-tier French tank -- as recounted in an outraaageous French accent, of course. A small excerpt:

Still smiling Ah looked up ahead as we were approaching 10, no 12!, kilometers per hour vhen Ah spotted an ominous object in zhe road before us. Eet was a rock! As beeg as a grapefruit, or even a small dog, and eet vas roight in our path. “Obstrucion ahead!” Ah cried into zhe voice-tube. Pierre wheeled zhe tanque’ into a hard left-turn and Ah strained to lean down far enough to watch zhe threatening stone as we attempted to navigate around eet. Ah prayed zhat mah initial appraisal had been wrong and eet was only a large hors’ manauer as Ah observed zhe roight track would not miss.

Eet was not to be! Zhe first road wheel smacked solidly into zhe granite impedimente’ and our tanque’ lurched to le halt. Pierre had zhe presence of mind to downsheeft quickly and he revved zhe engine while sliding zhe clutch back een. Slowly, evare so slowly, zhe wheel she climbed over zhe rock.

1cm…

2…

3…

Zuddenly we zprang forward over zhe top and Pierre backed off zhe zhrottle to avoid damaging zhe suspension bars as vhen zhe next wheel hit zhe rock. Down we came weeth a HAH-WHOOMP and she stopped us cold yet again. “Steady Pierre…” I cautioned down the voice-tube...

What happens to our intrepid cheese-eating surrender monkeys? Do they conquer the evil German pebble? Go read it all to find out.

ICE ICE Baby!

2012-01-10T13:46:00.003-06:00

Let me tell you 'bout the story of a girl named Jakadrien, (yeah, that's really her name), a teen who ran away from her home in Dallas and ended up being mistakenly deported as a Colombian foreign national. Sounds horrific, huh? Stupid, pointless, cruel, unfeeling government bureaucracy! But wait... that, as they say, is not the whole story:

Jakadrien somehow ended up in Houston, where she was arrested by Houston police for theft. She gave Houston police a fake name. When police in Houston ran that name, it belonged to a 22-year-old illegal immigrant from Colombia, who had warrants for her arrest.

So, just a poor victim of circumstance, huh? Yeahright.

No sympathy for you, cupcake; Colombia can keep you. You'd come back here and end up a tax burden, so just stay right where you are and continue cleaning houses for drug lords. At least now you have a job skill, which is more than you'd ever have received as a card-carrying member of the American Vulnerables and Victimhood Association, (a.k.a. - the Democrat Party).

(P.S. - In case you somehow missed it, dear reader, that was the HOUSTON POLICE who were involved in this whole sordid affair. As if the Dallas television network hadn't just hit you over the head with that fact three times in as many sentences. The enmity in D/FW, deep does it run. You ought to see what happens when they find a middle-aged white guy in San Antonio...)

Looooooon Alert

2012-01-10T13:14:00.005-06:00

You may (or if you're lucky, may not) remember Warren Jeffs, the wacky Mormon fundamentalist who was running a polygamy cult and child sex ring. (As if just plain ol' Mormonism ain't bad enough; Where's my magic hat?!)

Anyway, Mr Nutball has decided that all of his ~~sheep~~ ~~dupes~~ congregation are to stop having sex until he's out of prison -- which at life-plus-twenty could be a while. But that's only to be expected from someone who would file a motion to dismiss signed by God Almighty Himself:

[Jeffs] is also said to have filed two 'revelations from God' in high court cases this week, commanding the court to set him free.

One of the documents state: 'I, your Lord, have seen the conspiring and evil combining, in mind and word and also now in full way of fulfilling, to put my holy servant in prison unto a full lifetime. I shall soon lay a heavy hand on all who fight against my priesthood and church.'

Um... "in full way of fulfilling"? Methinks thou art in needing to revieweth thy KingJames-ese, Sir Dogberry!

Geek Alert - D&D 5th Edition

2012-01-09T16:04:00.002-06:00

Never thought I would see an article in Forbes about D&D. So Hasbro/WotC are trying, so they say, to repair the damage wrought by their 4th Ed release by reaching out to the gaming community to solicit feedback & ideas for a new 5th Ed.

Article Here

If Battlestar Galactica were a 16-bit 90's Computer Game

2012-01-09T15:57:00.000-06:00

Doing the right thing

2012-01-08T07:26:00.002-06:00

Just became illegal in the U.K.

Paul Clarke, 27, was found guilty of possessing a firearm at Guildford Crown Court on Tuesday – after finding the gun and handing it personally to police officers on March 20 this year.
The court heard how Mr Clarke was on the balcony of his home in Nailsworth Crescent, Merstham, when he spotted a black bin liner at the bottom of his garden.
In his statement, he said: "I took it indoors and inside found a shorn-off shotgun and two cartridges.
"I didn't know what to do, so the next morning I rang the Chief Superintendent, Adrian Harper, and asked if I could pop in and see him.
"At the police station, I took the gun out of the bag and placed it on the table so it was pointing towards the wall."
Mr Clarke was then arrested immediately for possession of a firearm at Reigate police station, and taken to the cells.

So, why was he arrested?

Prosecuting, Brian Stalk, explained to the jury that possession of a firearm was a "strict liability" charge – therefore Mr Clarke's allegedly honest intent was irrelevant.

As a former Police Officer I can tell you the main thing they teach us about law is it is about intent. If someone lets a grocery cart go and it hits your car, that is an accident, if they shove it towards your car with the INTENT to damage your car, that is vandalism. Same result, your car is damaged, but even a moron, or as our Constitution said "A Reasonable Person" can tell the difference. Apparently there are no longer reasonable people in the British isles.

The jury took 20 minutes to make its conviction, and Mr Clarke now faces a minimum of five year's imprisonment for handing in the weapon.

Mirror-polished DeLorean

2012-01-06T12:45:00.001-06:00

Freakin' cool...

To Boldly Lunch

2012-01-06T11:57:00.004-06:00

Are you a sad-faced Trekkie because you forgot to save that Star Trek lunchbox you owned in 1975? Well fret no more my geeky little friends, because Neatorama is selling replicas of the classic lunchbox. No Thermos, though...

Insult to Injury

2012-01-03T17:47:00.003-06:00

Mustafa Hendi is in the running for most inept robber ever:

“When he came through the door he told me had a gun and he even flashed it," said Derek Mothershead. “I stood up and threw my hands up and said, 'Take the money.'”

Mothershead said the man came behind the counter with a bag.

“I got the money and he had the bag out and instead of putting it in the bag I stuck it out and said, 'Just take it.' So, when he reached out, I took a step in, I cocked back and preloaded and I hit him hard,” Mothershead told News 4's Mike McCormick.

The punch knocked out the would-be thief. Mothershead was able to grab the man's weapon and realized it was a pellet gun.

“When I pulled it out of his waistband I started laughing,” said Mothershead. “I said, 'Man, you came in here with a fake gun?'"

While they waited for police and paramedics, Mothershead gave Hendi a roll of power towels, sprayed the floor with cleaner and told him to clean up his own blood.

Oh, Mustafa... You are SO gonna be Bubba's bitch in prison. Assume the position, boy.

Wha...?

2012-01-03T12:48:00.002-06:00

Proof that Apple fanbois are weirdos: an ultra-realistic Steve Jobs "action figure." (That's what they call dolls made for boys).

By "ultra-realistic" I mean "creepy." REALLY creepy... When I look at it, I get much the same feeling as when I look at the hairstyle on that barista (have to rrroll the rrr) as he condescendingly explains to me that Starbucks doesn't have plain black coffee in a Large cup. The main difference is that thoughts of delicious, lingering homicide don't follow after looking at the doll.

Books - The Culture Series

2012-01-03T10:37:00.004-06:00

I like Churt's "Recommend a Book" theme, so I'll play along. He already put in a good word for what I consider the best epic fantasy series to date, so I'll move over to the sci-fi side.

I've been voraciously consuming sci-fi novels for over 30 years, and I can say with total confidence that Iain Bank's Culture series is the best I've ever read. Banks doesn't just think outside the box, he delights in setting the box on fire and pissing on the smoldering embers. Even jaded readers will find a new, oh-my-God-that's-so-freaking-cool idea on nearly every page of the extensive series.

This is not laser-blasting Star Wars fare, but neither is it Vonnegut-style navel gazing. It's something completely in its own category. Banks doesn't shy away from incorporating social and scientific concepts that are (to put it mildly) on the bleeding edge. Neither, however, does he make a point of rubbing your face in them. The author doesn't seem to have any social, political, or philosophical axes to grind; he merely postulates that this is what humanity may become, given the virtually unlimited resources and riches the universe has to offer. Whether you like his vision of the future or not, I guarantee you'll never forget it. The Culture, the most advanced branch of humanity in the books, is a combination of Roddenberry's utopia and Huxley's dystopia, mixed with a large dash of Thackeray's Vanity Fair.

The first book of the series is Consider Phlebas; give it a read. Just understand that this is not Star Trek or Star Wars or anything like you've ever encountered in popular culture bearing the sci-fi label; this is "hard" sci-fi at its hardest, but also its most fascinating.

--

Christmas Arcade Awesomeness

2012-01-02T11:34:00.004-06:00

It's clear that my wife and my step-daughter know me well based on one of the Christmas gifts they went in on for me this year.

The iCade is just what it appears to be, a cabinet and set of old arcade controls for your iPad that lets you play 80's arcade games like Tempest, Asteroids, Gravitar, Lunar Lander in style. This thing is a blast! You still have to buy the games from the AppStore but the pack of 100 games is cheap. Now my biggest problem is finding where to keep the thing. I may finally be forced to clean up my home-office. Hmmmm...perhaps there was a subtle sub-plot involved here that I didn't realize until now....

Anyway, you can read more about it on Ars Technica here.

Enjoy!

Book Recommendations - Game of Thrones

2012-01-01T15:36:00.004-06:00

Just added a new label for book recommendations. I keep having trouble remembering what book Jar or Banduar mention to me so was hoping to make use of the blog for this purpose. Just use books as the label.

Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin will be the first. I haven't finished the series but seems good so far. I know I've been given other recommendations but I never can remember them after sleeping.

Old School Renaissance

2011-12-30T11:33:00.003-06:00

This one is for the old pen, paper and dice gamers in the crowd.

The State of D&D: Present

This article at The Escapist gaming site talks about the changes in the genre, specifically focused on D&D but relevant to the RPG hobby as a whole I think. I admit I bought the 4th Edition Collectors set when it came out (out of habit, nostalgia, grand intentions, what-have-you), but have not had occasion to play it. However in talking to another old gamer friend they pretty much said the same thing as this article about the new D&D appearing to have been way too influenced by WoW and MMORPGs. Now we know that was intentional, which is sad really. On the flip side I was happy to hear there has been bit of an "Old School Renaissance" recently; of older gamers looking to recapture the fun of the older games, and of some new gamers looking for a change and a challenge.

Anyway, enjoy the read....

On a side note, I've recently found myself starting to collect some of the great old Avalon Hill and SPI tabletop war games I remember from my youth. Thats another area of gaming I would love to see come back, but I suspect that will not be likely to happen with today's increasingly ADD society.

Wall of Star Wars

2011-12-29T14:25:00.004-06:00

A grad student at the University of Illinois has developed a Star Wars game called Fleet Commander, which is played by multiple people on a 20-foot touchscreen. Want.

Government healthcare is bad for your health

2011-12-28T16:54:00.002-06:00

A hospital patient in a government-run hospital died after rats ate his penis.

Fear not citizens, Obamacare is on the way! No charge for the penis-eating rats.

Funky Case

2011-12-27T16:11:00.001-06:00

In case you want to put a little Space:1999 into your next PC build.

I actually hope 1970s post-modern tech design is making a comeback. That'd be groovy -- not to mention very Star Wars-y, which can only be for the greater good of humanity.

Billy the Fish

2011-12-27T13:55:00.003-06:00

Just a little reminder of how sheltered is existence in modern America. It's the story of how a journalist team sneaked into Siberia to expose North Korean slave labor camps. Modern Siberia is lawless to an extent that makes the American Old West seem like a sophisticate soiree. The team eventually found what they were after, courtesy of their Russian mafia guide, Billy the Fish:

At the first camp we found, the North Korean guards threatened us and tried to throw us out. Billy the Fish laughed—a great gold-toothed guffaw—and then smiled. “This is Russia,” he growled, eyes glinting. Motioning to the vast expanses around him, he declared, “This is mine.” Then to our camera crew, “Keep shooting. They can do nothing.” So we did.

Later, when we were deep in the forest, we came upon cadres of North Korean workers. A group of them approached and quickly surrounded our truck. One of them was swinging an iron bar, looking like he was going to bash our imperialist brains in. Billy took it from him, looked at it, and remarked calmly, “This your lights-out switch?” Sniff. “You’re going to need more than that.” He smiled and chucked it into the forest.

They later fled the country, the modern version of the KGB hot their heels, and escaped... into China. It all sounds very exciting -- by which I mean I'll stick with my cushy office job. I discovered early in life that high adventure is highly overrated.

Don't confuse me with the facts!

2011-12-24T07:27:00.003-06:00

A lovely op-ed piece about the real cost of going green

…every ton of rare earth elements produced generates approximately 8.5 kilograms of fluorine and 13 kilograms of flue dust. Additionally, sulfuric acid refining techniques used to produce one ton of rare earth elements generates 9,600 to 12,000 cubic meters of gas laden with flue dust concentrate, hydrofluoric acid, sulfur dioxide, and sulfuric acid. Not only are large quantities of harmful gas produced, alarming amounts of liquid and solid waste also resulted from Chinese refining processes. They estimate at the completion of refining one ton of rare earth elements, approximately 75 cubic meters of acidic waste water and about one ton of radioactive waste residue are produced. The IAGS reports China produced over 130,000 metric tons of rare earth elements in 2008 alone

Now remember, the Chi-Coms produce 95% of all the Rare Earth elements in the world. And these are needed to run all our neat little toys, plus wind turbines, solar batteries, and even that Prius your hippie neighbor is driving. Oh and come to find out there is a reason they are driving the Prius and it isn't to save Mother Gia.

Apparently hybrid vehicles owners don’t really want to save the world, they just want to look like they do.

The New York Times reported in 2007 that the number reason why people buy the Toyota Prius is “it makes a statement about me.”

“‘I really want people to know that I care about the environment,” said Joy Feasley of Philadelphia, owner of a green 2006 Prius. ‘I like that people stop and ask me how I like my car.’”

And Mary Gatch of Charleston, S.C., explained, “’I felt like the Camry Hybrid was too subtle for the message I wanted to put out there…I wanted to have the biggest impact that I could, and the Prius puts out a clearer message.’”

“The Prius allowed you to make a green statement with a car for the first time ever,” said Dan Becker, head of the global warming program at the Sierra Club (and yes, a Prius owner).

Again, this demonstrates what the dozens of readers here already knew, green technology is nothing but a money boondoggle to enrich the friends of the powerful and that the whole green movement is more about image than substance. I have a better idea for them, go buy a Gucci bag and a Rolex watch and leave my car and light-bulbs alone you meddling whacked out enviro-nazi.

EuroTards

2011-12-22T08:20:00.005-06:00

Last month, as you may remember, the idiocrats in the European Union declared that drinking water does not hydrate the human body, and that claims to that effect would make one liable for prosecution.

Well, a British MP has hoisted them by their own petards, so to speak. He discovered an EU-sponsored ad for milk, which had this to say:

"You may not have known, but a large part of milk is actually water. So, if you regularly drink milk, you can stay hydrated at the same time."

Oopsies. Did we say that?

Says Paul Nuttall, the MP who filed the complaint:

"These people think that they can lay down the law that they have created no matter how absurd and threaten individuals and businesses with criminal sanctions.

“In this case, though, It appears that the EU just doesn't know its backside from its elbow."

Oh dear. Is that a Eurocrack in the vaunted Eurosolidarity of the European Union? Seems all is not roses in Euroland after all, eh?

Further hissing and spitting:

Denouncing the ruling last month, Conservative MEP Roger Helmer said: “This is stupidity writ large.

“The euro is burning, the EU is falling apart and yet here they are: highly-paid, highly-pensioned officials worrying about the obvious qualities of water and trying to deny us the right to say what is patently true.

“If ever there were an episode which demonstrates the folly of the great European project then this is it.”

Such vitriol. Definitely not roses. Hate to say I told you so, but... well, you know.

Big Nasty EuroWar in five... four...

It's a dangerous business...

2011-12-22T06:00:00.001-06:00

going out your door.
The trailer for "The Hobbit" is out. Go to the link above for some hobbity goodness

Football Is Better Than Soccer

2011-12-21T15:41:00.003-06:00

A Brit and life-long soccer fan commits blasphemy by becoming a fan of the sport which Europeans love to hate: American football. He explains why:

Baseball fans will have to forgive me here, but the answer, I think, is that football is the quintessential American sport. It's no accident it hasn't really caught on elsewhere (the annual NFL game in London notwithstanding) whereas baseball and basketball have at least a claim to a global following and participation.

In its energy and complexity, football captures the spirit of America better than any other cultural creation on this continent, and I don't mean because it features long breaks in which advertisers get to sell beer and treatments for erectile dysfunction. It sits at the intersection of pioneering aggression and impossibly complex strategic planning. It is a collision of Hobbes and Locke; violent, primal force tempered by the most complex set of rules, regulations, procedures and systems ever conceived in an athletic framework.

Soccer is called the beautiful game. But football is chess, played with real pieces that try to knock each other's brains out. It doesn't get any more beautiful than that.

Hear! Hear! Let us raise our beer glasses in a toast to football -- chess with blood!

Keeping up with the Vandals

2011-12-21T10:43:00.003-06:00

Victor Davis Hansen paints a bleak picture of the breakdown of civilization in California, as petty thieves steal everything not bolted down -- and much that is, such as copper wire in street lights. The consequences are as predictable as the sunrise:

The immediate reaction of the victimized in rural central California is predictable and yet quite strange. As in 5th-century North Africa, farmers feel that civilization is vanishing and they are on their own. The “authorities” of an insolvent state, like petty Roman bureaucrats, are too busy releasing criminals from overcrowded jails to want any more. The stories of cyclical releases are horrific: Criminals are not arrested and let go just twice a year, but five and six and ten times. Sometimes we read of the surreal, like this week’s story in my local Selma Enterprise of one criminal’s 36 arrests and releases — and these are only for the crimes we know he committed and was caught for...

Indeed, farmers out here are beginning to feel targeted, not protected, by law enforcement. In the new pay-as-you-go state, shrouded in politically correct bureaucratese, Californians have developed a keen sense of cynicism. The scores of Highway Patrol cars that now dot our freeways are looking for the middle class — the minor, income-producing infractions of the generally law-abiding — inasmuch as in comparison the felonies of the underclass are lose–lose propositions.

If I were to use a cellphone while driving and get caught, the state might make an easy $170 for five minutes’ work. If the same officer were to arrest the dumper who threw a dishwasher or refrigerator into the local pond among the fish and ducks, the arrest and detention would be costly and ultimately fruitless, providing neither revenue from a non-paying suspect nor deterrence against future environmental sacrilege. We need middle-class misdemeanors to pay for the felonies of the underclass.

I sympathize with the predicament in which law enforcement agencies find themselves; they are as much victims of the liberal statism as everyone else. There is a solution, of course -- if the people of the state have the courage to implement it: public humiliation (the stocks) works wonders to curb casual crime. For those who don't get the message, erecting a gallows in the public square will focus their sub-standard minds wonderfully, especially after it's been used a few times.

Civilization, put simply, is nothing more than a system of actions and consequences. In California, the leftist simpletons have effectively removed the consequences for unacceptable actions by inviting the citizens of a neighboring country to an ad hoc invasion of their home. The result is ever-increasing chaos.

Go read the entire article and witness the consequences when feel-good liberal idiocy is employed as a substitute for good government.

__
Hat-tip to Rusty C.

Late entry for 2011 Darwin Award

2011-12-20T11:09:00.002-06:00

Man Eats Cocaine From Brother's Butt, Dies.

And now, every year at Christmas time, the family gets to share the colorful story of how uncle Wayne met his demise.

Full story is linked here, if the headline isn't enough.

Dumb Blonde Tricks

2011-12-19T12:25:00.003-06:00

This post is just in case you require further evidence that Ellen Degeneres is an idiot of the first stripe. Yeah, I know; probably not. But there may be some lucky person out there who hasn't heard of her -- who won't be so lucky any more after reading this... Anyhow, she and her "partner" are now marketing vegan dog food. Yeah.

Hey, Ellen: see those sharp, pointy teeth on your puppy? Those are for ripping other animals apart prior to consumption, you ignorant slut. That's because dogs are CARNIVORES, you ignorant slut. That means they eat meat, you ignorant slut.

You ignorant slut.

He's a SPYDAH!

2011-12-19T12:23:00.001-06:00

Thieves are notorious for going to great lengths to avoid honest work. It's nice to occasionally see them properly rewarded for their efforts.

Duck, duck...

2011-12-19T12:21:00.000-06:00

GOooOOoOOSE!!!

Scientific Method

2011-12-19T10:16:00.003-06:00

I like the way they state this at the end of the article.

"The Electric Universe is not secure knowledge to be believed but speculative knowledge to be experimented with."

My definition of science is the search for truth whatever that truth might be in reference to the way the universe works.

Good riddance

2011-12-19T06:23:00.001-06:00

As you may have heard, Ol' Kim of N. Korea is dead. Its about time that bat shit crazy megalomaniac died, the only problem is, we don't know how bat shit crazy his son is. I guess we get to find out soon enough. Burn in Hell you psychotic bastard.

Pop Quiz

2011-12-19T06:14:00.002-06:00

Is Death knocking at your door? Do you have one foot in the grave? Well answer these ten questions to find out if you shouldn't buy green bananas.

Puppy Love

2011-12-19T06:11:00.001-06:00

Don't let your dog go on spring break, or this might happen.

S. Fla. Man Sentenced For Sexually Assaulting A Chihuahua

Games Matter

2011-12-16T18:34:00.005-06:00

A short intro from a collection of essays about gaming by Wil Wheaton (yes, that Wil Wheaton) that I thought was really good and worth sharing. Enjoy!

On the importance of making time to play the games you like with the people you love

Drag Racing

2011-12-16T16:49:00.003-06:00

If you own an Android phone, allow me to introduce you to the greatest and most addictive game I've discovered thus far: Drag Racing for Android. Go download it and wave bye-bye to your free time. (Seriously... this thing will eat your head.)

Elected Oafs

2011-12-16T12:35:00.005-06:00

Jerry Pournelle once said of politicians: "The primary problem with democracy is that the qualifications to get the job aren't the same as the qualifications to do the job well." In other words the wealthy, smooth-talking, power-hungry idiots are most likely to be elected. The further up the political food chain you go, the more pronounced the effect.

With that in mind, here is a compendium of dumb laws from across the country. A sample from my home state:

When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.

That's what we call a Texican Standoff.

Go find out what kind of useless laws the power-hungry morons in your state have produced -- and remember: you paid them to do it.

__
Hat-tip to Jeff W.

RIP : Christopher Hitchens

2011-12-16T11:19:00.002-06:00

A burning intellect, fearlessly opinionated and gifted with a sharp wit and amazing talents with the written and spoken word, Christopher Hitchens died today at the age of 62 at the MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, Texas. Hitchens was diagnosed with esophageal cancer in the spring of 2010.

Click here and here for more.

Boredom

2011-12-16T06:41:00.002-06:00

Interesting site about boredom. I only read into it a little but the concept seems to hit quite close to home at Apathy Curve.

I've had the thought before that boredom causes much of the world's issues. When a group of people get bored they get restless and irritable. Eventually they have to end the boredom somehow. They may do positive things like play games or have a party. Quite often however they end up doing something violent. They may want something someone else has that they think will deal with the boredom. If those with the thing won’t share it they will most likely end up fighting over it.

In an effort to stop the violence inherent in the system, why don't we work on a list of things that can temporarily take away the boredom? Some things are quite negative and I would just as soon stay bored but I’m going to list them so we have the bad ways to deal with boredom list. This is a very individual thing as different people find different things interesting. I do hope people will add to the list as I may learn new ways to deal with boredom. The following list is what I can think of in the few minutes I have to work on it:

Bad Ways to deal with boredom:
1. Fights – May seem interesting at the time but the issues of damaged tissues tend to linger.
2. Wars(Big fights) – Excitement I can do without but not boring in any way.
3. Recreational drugs (The bad ones) – You’re not bored but you may not remember it and we have few enough functional brain cells to begin with.
4. Oppressing people – It may be good to be the king but it can come back to hurt you in a very real way.

Positive ways to deal with boredom:
1. Learning to roll over, stand, walk, run etc… Lying on your back unable to move would have been really boring if not for the funny looking things you could wiggle in front of your face. I later learned they were called hands. I like hands, my very first entertainment. Unfortunately this is not a repeatable past time unless you are injured.
2. Food and drink – I sometimes wish I didn’t like food so much but it does eliminate boredom for a few minutes every day.
3. Inventing – New ways to do things and new things to do. As long as you don’t get blown up by the discovery.
4. Christmas - I enjoyed it as a kid, after getting married and now that I have kids of my own I enjoy it even more. The spirit of Christmas to me is about making a greater effort than normal to be civil, forgiving, generous, happy and fun.
5. Games – Preferably something played with other people but even single player video games can stop the boredom for a few hours.
6. Sex – Definitely not boring.
7. Television – Many are critical of this technological wonder but it allows for a suspension of reality unlike any other. How much mischief has been averted because people were watching TV instead of being bored out of their minds? I’m sure it’s caused problems as well but I feel it has prevented more than it caused.
8. Exploration - I'm talking about going to new places. Not different cities but places mankind hasn't gone before. You know the phrase.
9. Vehicles – Oh yeah, they are fun indeed, unless you’re stuck in traffic of course.
10. Electronics - These wonderful little pieces of magic are great.
11. Books - An old invention but still a good way to stave off boredom from time to time.

iDragon

2011-12-15T14:57:00.000-06:00

The silliest thing you'll see all day...

JADE

2011-12-15T13:36:00.003-06:00

JADE has been released. It's the java-based client for Ancient Domains of Mystery, arguably the best roguelike ever created. You may snag it here.

If you have no idea what a "roguelike" is and are concerned that it may be contagious (it is), go read this first. Or just shrug and go back to eating your soup; I care not.

Unsure

2011-12-14T12:48:00.002-06:00

A real head-scratcher:

A man from Nyköping in eastern Sweden has been denied a power wheelchair despite having had both of his legs amputated as the local health authority remained "uncertain if the impairment was permanent".

Socialized medicine: when the same people who take your photo at the DMV get to decide your course of medical treatment.